Opinion

How to parallel park

Some people back into the space when parallel parking. However, for the maximum enjoyment of onlookers, pull in forwards. Sure, it might be stressful when you're blocking traffic and it feels like the whole city turned out to honk and jeer. But, that's a small price to pay for the slight chuckle or wry grin you'll give a passing pedestrian.

You should consider asking your passenger to get and spot. There won't be much they can do, of course, since the situation is hopeless. But as you both become more exasperated, onlookers will become more amused.

It's also recommended to pick a spot that's sufficiently large. An extremely small spot may cause onlookers to feel empathetic. They might even feel guilty for laughing. So pick a big spot, and someone can comfortably roar, "he's got a mile!"

For similar reasons, it's important not to drag out parallel parking for too long. Five minutes is amusing, ten becomes pitiable. So, after five minutes, abandon the car a couple feed from the curb. Or, better still, drive off in disgust to the nearest parking deck.

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